In today’s world—with all its chaos, complications, and noise—it’s so important for our children to be able to find or create a sense of calm for themselves. It’s an essential part of the ‘emotional cycle,’ as we like to call it, and finding calm (or, adversely, not finding calm) can affect children’s mental, emotional, and even physical health. In our last blog, we talked about helping children find a place of calm, and this week, we’re going to share how to create an actual calm-down space for your students.

Remember: Calm is the state of being where we are thinking rationally, our heart is beating regularly, and our demeanor is relaxed.

Being able to achieve calm means we all need to know how to recover from highly emotional events or interactions. And creating a calm-down space is a key to that, as well as setting up a successful emotionally intelligent environment.

What is a Calm-Down Space?

A successful calm-down space should be created based on what would resonate most and work best for your students or children. Essentially, a calm-down space is an area where students can go when they need to find calm. We like them to include small items to help children relax and settle down, but it will look different for each classroom or home.

Creating a Calm-Down Space

Begin by having a conversation with your students about what it means to experience big emotions. Allow the students to have an engaging interaction with each other and continue to elicit conversation. You can open the discussion by asking:

• What makes someone sad, mad, upset, angry?
• Have you ever done something or said something while you were in the middle of one of these big emotions that you later regretted?
• What are some safe and healthy ways to experience these emotions?

Generally, when they answer the last question, they’ll come up with ideas like: my room, the swing outside, a quiet corner; and if they haven’t you can prompt them for some of these suggestions.

Then, take the concept further by asking if they would like to have a designated calm down space. Explain how this would be a place that someone could go to and sit while they regather their emotions.

Ask your students what they think would be helpful to include in their calm down space. We suggest including items in these key categories: 

• A way to communicate to others that the person is not to be disturbed (maybe a necklace that they wear)
• A place to sit
• Something for the child to do with their hands (remember hands are an instrument of the brain), and
• A way to know when it’s time to move on

Our example of a calm-down space includes a beaded necklace, a stool, a timer, a finger maze, and some kinetic clay. (Note: Current stay-safe practices might require each child to have their own supply of clay.) You’ll notice that our example (from a 9-12 classroom) has VERY limited space.

Using a Calm-Down Space Effectively

The real goal of a calm-down space is to ensure that students have ownership in the process of finding calm. When students ‘buy in’ and collectively decide on the classroom processes for finding calm and achieving peace, they will be much more willing and ready to self-regulate.

A calm-down space is an emotional literacy tool; it should NOT be used for forced time outs. If you feel a student could benefit from using the space, you can suggest it by saying, “Would you like some time in the calm down space?” But keep in mind, you may have to find another option to help the student find calm if the calm-down space is NOT what they want at the moment.  

It’s important to note…

Montessori teachers across the world use a ‘peace table’ or ‘peace rose’ in their classrooms; these are also effective tools. Kristen (who’s an Upper Elementary Montessori teacher and Positive Discipline parent educator and teacher facilitator), first learned about the idea of a peace table in the late 80s and brought it back to the Montessori school her parents’ owned; so she’s been modifying and adapting this concept for more than 30 years! If you’re unfamiliar with these concepts, when children are experiencing conflict with one another they invite the person they are in conflict with to the peace table to discuss the issue with the hopes of coming to a resolution. This is NOT the same as a calm down space, as a calm down space is typically for one person. However, it’s important to note the difference so teachers understand the need for a separate place or a separate use of a space for these two separate purposes.

Quick Tip

A calm-down space is just one idea for helping children find calm. Many times, children will need or want to run outside, swing for a bit, or practice yoga or meditation—these are all valid options provided the environment is equipped to sustain this practice. As you work with your students to create a calm-down space, it may also be beneficial to create a list of these (safe and healthy) alternative options as well.

Learning More About Teaching Emotional Literacy | Curriculum

If you are interested in finding out more about the work that we are doing and joining us on our mission to teach students emotional literacy, sign up for our weekly newsletter. We offer quite a few opportunities to support you in this journey, including an engaging facebook group, free or low-cost webinars, and a stellar four-part masterclass followed by continued chats, resources, and tools that are part of our Using Art for Emotional Literacy membership.

Additional Resources

• Helping Your Students Find a Place of Calm

By Spramani Elaun & Kristen Richter

© 2020 All Rights Reserved

At Using Art Journals for Emotional Literacy, we teach through the ‘emotional cycle.’ The cycle includes: Feelings, Calm, Joy, and Community. Helping your child or student find a place of calm is a crucial part of this cycle. Calm is the state of being where we are thinking rationally, our heart is beating regularly, and our demeanor is relaxed.

Teaching children the valuable life skill of getting to calm will help them maintain successful, positive relationships—at home, at school, and in their communities—throughout their entire life.

On the opposite side, the inability to find calm can have a lasting negative impact. Without this emotional literacy skill, they may grow into adults who have anger issues and lack empathy and meaningful relationships. And since community and relationships are some of the most important predictors of happiness and emotional wellbeing, this is a high price to pay for not learning how to find a place of calm.

How to Find Calm

There are four key steps to guiding your children and students to a place of calm.  

Kids may need help identifying their emotions (or may not), but our most important role is to validate whatever they are feeling. At this point, other than allowing for time to feel the entire cycle of the emotion, our job is to just keep the child safe. Make sure that they are not hurting themselves or others—that’s it.   

Step One: Allow your student to feel their emotions.

Kids may need help identifying their emotions (or may not), but our most important role is to validate whatever they are feeling. At this point, other than allowing for time to feel the entire cycle of the emotion, our job is to just keep the child safe. Make sure that they are not hurting themselves or others—that’s it.

Step Two: Connect with your student.

During the second stage, continue to allow your child to feel; if you haven’t done so already, connect with them and empathize with them. For example, you might want to say something like, “You worked so hard on building that sand castle and it got knocked down. I imagine that would feel very disappointing.” Or, “I get it. I’d be mad too if I worked for an hour writing that beautiful paper only to find a spelling mistake. I know you wanted it to be perfect.” The key here is to validate those emotions and make a genuine, true connection.

If your child is young and still learning how to identify their emotions, you might invite them to read a book about feelings or look at photos or ‘emotion cards’ to ask them how they think they might be feeling.

Step Three: Offer your student different coping strategies.

Give your students a couple of choices for coping, like a hug or energetic action like stomping your feet together. You can also ask them, “What do you want to do right now?” Remember, it’s okay if they are not ready to move on and begin coping; if they’re not yet at this stage, go back to step one and just let them feel right now. These steps don’t always happen one at a time, it’s often a process to get to calm.

Step Four: Think about problem solving.

It’s very important to make sure that your child has gained control and is in a calm state. They need to have processed the entire spectrum of their emotions, and sometimes this can take a full day. Begin by inviting your students to come together, and ask them, “We should talk a bit about what happened, do you have some thoughts about how you want to solve this?” Or, “You wanted to play with that and Sarah wouldn’t let you, what could we do or what could we have done?” Brainstorm with your children and come up with strategies for dealing with this if and when it happens again. 

A Quick Tip

Remember our kids are always looking to us as a model! When you feel yourself getting worked up, you can follow the above steps too.

Learning More About Teaching Emotional Literacy | Curriculum

If you are interested in finding out more about the work that we are doing and joining us on our mission to teach students emotional literacy, sign up for our weekly newsletter. We offer quite a few opportunities to support you in this journey, including an engaging facebook group, free or low-cost webinars, and a stellar four-part masterclass followed by continued chats, resources, and tools that are part of our Using Art for Emotional Literacy membership.  

Additional Resources

Emotion cards

By Spramani Elaun & Kristen Richter

© 2020 All Rights Reserved

It can be hard for children to understand their feelings, and even more difficult to communicate them. As a teacher, you can help students identify their changing feelings, and more importantly, open the door to developing emotional literacy. Current research supports that helping children develop emotional literacy aids in overall mental and physical wellbeing. 

Emotional literacy is among the top skills we should be focusing on in this 21st century climate—especially during our current global social and moral crises. Teaching emotional literacy in the classroom leads to discussions, children listening to others’ feelings, developing empathy for one another, and improvements in our students’ overall community relationships. 

What is emotional intelligence?

The concept of emotional intelligence first appeared as part of psychologist Edward Lee Thorndike’s “social intelligence” theory, in 1920. However, the worldwide movement of emotional intelligence was started by Peter Salovey, an American social psychologist and current President of Yale University, and John D. Mayer, an American psychologist at the University of New Hampshire. Their research on cognition and emotions was first published in the scholarly journal, Imagination, Cognition, and Personality on March 1, 1990. Dr. Daniel Goleman, author and science journalist, was inspired by this article and went on to publish his research in a book called Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Goleman’s idea that “emotional intelligence can help people make better decisions,” has been printed more than a million times in 30 different languages! It’s now considered the foundation for identifying emotional intelligence.

Goleman’s research identifies five main domains of emotional intelligence:

1. Self-awareness (knowing one’s emotions)
2. Self-regulation (managing emotions)
3. Motivation (motivating oneself)
4. Empathy (recognizing emotions in others)
5. Social skills (handling relationships)

Goleman, Salovey, and other leaders in the field shared practices and current research at the 5th annual NexusEQ Conference, in Holland in 2005; “Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Tools and Wisdom for a Sustainable World” featured speakers from 19 other countries. This conference gave organizations and schools the framework to start teaching emotional literacy. 

What is emotional literacy?

Then we have the idea of “emotional literacy,” which was coined by Claude Steiner, a French-American psychotherapist and writer, in his publication Healing Alcoholism (1979).  Emotional literacy, as defined by Steiner, places an emphasis on the emotions of love, cooperation, and common good, which according to Steiner, is often overlooked in emotional intelligence work. He goes on to further define it as a “practice of specific transactional exercises which target the awareness of emotion in ourselves and others, the capacities to love others and oneself while developing honesty, and the ability to take responsibility for our actions.”

Steiners publication, Emotional Literacy: Intelligence with a Heart, goes on to dig deep into essential assertions. According to the book, emotional literacy is:

• A love-centered emotional intelligence
• Loving oneself and others
• Being loved by oneself and others
• Developing the capacity of loving and accepting love

In our work at Using Art for Emotional Literacy, we have used these terms interchangeably, and have combined all the various definitions and approaches to further define and solidify our mission to help teachers and parents guide young students as they grow in their emotional literacy and develop empathy for others. Knowing that this work is essential in the classroom (or home), is just the beginning of a life-long journey.  

Additional Resources:

• Sorry, There’s No Easy Toolkit for Social-Emotional Learning. But It’s Worth the Work (from Education Week)
• What is the Difference Between Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Literacy? (from Claude Steiner’s Emotional Literacy)
• Emotional Literacy; Intelligence with a Heart (by Claude Steiner)

Dive Deeper:

If you are interested in finding out more about the work that we are doing and joining us on our mission to teach students emotional literacy, sign up for our weekly newsletter. We offer quite a few opportunities to support you in this journey, including an engaging facebook group, free or low-cost webinars, and a stellar four-part masterclass followed by continued chats, resources, and tools that are part of our Using Art for Emotional Literacy membership. 

By Spramani Elaun & Kristen Richter

© 2020 All Rights Reserved

We are huge believers in using art journals to teach children emotional literacy, and help them combat stress and explore their complex thoughts and feelings. It’s not just a theory we’ve been intrigued by; we’ve seen, first-hand, the positive benefits of art journals in the classroom and how they can completely transform students’ attitudes and behaviors.

Art journals are similar to written journals, except they also incorporate colors, mediums, drawings, patterns, and other materials as a means of expression. They’re a form of creative self-care and can help children (and adults) understand emotions and process feelings on a deeper level. When combined with teachings that focus on specific topics, the art journal can be a powerful tool in the emotional development of a student.

Here’s how Kristen Richter, AMS Elementary I-II and certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator and Teacher Facilitator, was introduced to the art journaling practice and why she decided to bring it into her classroom.

“Years ago, I found myself struggling in my classroom—it was a challenging time to say the least. Children were often rude and disrespectful, and at times I felt like I had lost control.  I tried every trick in the book to get them to change their behaviors. I’ve been teaching for over 25 years, and throughout those years, I’ve developed some classroom management strategies, but for some reason, this time, nothing I did was working.

I was frantic and I felt like I had reached my limit. I was planning on finishing out the year, and then moving on because I felt like I had used up all my teaching moments and had nothing else to give.

But somewhere along the way, I had a mindset shift. You know the old adage, if you want to change something, you need to begin with yourself? Well, that’s what I did. 

In the midst of this turbulent season, I had been practicing some self-growth exercises and had purchased an online course from Brené Brown that integrated ideas from her book, The Gifts of Imperfection. The course went through the book, methodically used art journaling to convey the major concepts. 

That’s when it dawned on me, I realized this is what I need to be doing in my classroom. 

Once I started bringing emotional literacy lessons combined with specific art journal activities into the classroom, I saw a change; the students had a chance to process their thoughts and the concepts. I continued to experiment and developed more art journal opportunities for my students. That’s when things started to shift. It didn’t happen immediately, but slowly over time, their behavior improved and our classroom became a more understanding and accepting space.”

The practice of processing emotions is a lifelong pursuit. We have developed a method that allows children to learn to be really present with their emotions. By using art journals, along with specialized lessons, students are free to reflect on new concepts, express some of their own emotions, and identify or name some feelings that otherwise they might not have known and begin to be able to empathize with others. You can learn more about our proprietary art journal techniques and teachings by joining our Facebook group and registering for our next webinar.

One Quick Implementation Strategy: Sign Up for Our Next Combating Stress with Mandalas Masterclass!

Art journaling is just one technique (of many) that helps children understand and process their emotions. One emotion in particular—stress—can have a huge impact on children’s self-esteem, confidence, and ability to learn in the classroom.

In our masterclass, Combating Stress with Mandalas, we share the emotional and mental benefits of mandalas, and talk about how simple art activities like doodling and coloring can make a tremendous positive difference in children’s stress levels. We also take some time to talk about the emotional literacy cycle and how you can guide and support children (and yourselves) in combating stress through art and art journaling.

You can register for our next Combating Stress with Mandalas, on DATE, by clicking here.

If you are interested in finding out more about the work we are doing and joining one of our free webinars or masterclasses, sign up for our weekly newsletter and join our private Facebook group!

By Spramani Elaun & Kristen Richter

© 2020 All Rights Reserved

We’ve talked before about reframing negative or stressful situations into something positive, and we’ve even gone into detail about developing a growth mindset, which involves seeing challenges as opportunities to grow. Those are both emotional literacy tactics that can be incredibly helpful to students, and they both take practice. 

The more tools, resources, and new perspective we can give our students, the more emotionally literate we’re helping them become. If we teach them these reframing methods now, we’ll lay the foundation for setting them up for success as adults. (And this has a ton of positive ramifications that ripple out into their families, friend circles, and greater community.)

This week, we want to dive deeper into the idea of finding the silver lining in stressful situations.

What is the ‘Silver Lining’?

You’ve probably heard the phrase or proverb, “Every cloud has a silver lining,” but maybe you’ve never given it a second thought. The silver lining is a sign of hope or a positive aspect in an otherwise negative situation. When you look for the silver lining, you’re emphasizing the hopeful, positive side of a situation that might seem negative on its surface.

How to Find the Silver Lining

It’s easy to tell people to ‘find the silver lining,’ but when it comes down to it, sometimes the negative situation can feel too overwhelming to do so. It’s another reframing technique that takes practice. 

Remember to have these conversations when everyone is regulated and feeling good! Begin by having them take small steps and focus on their resources and take gradual steps to shifting their perspective. They are getting out of the negative part of their mind and into a more positive space. Ask:

• What are some good things that you have right now, or are happening to you right now?

• What resources, (or things) do you have that you can use to help make positive a change?

Once you can get students to focus on the resources they have and can use, they’ll be able to shift their mindset into an even more positive space and get better at finding the silver lining.

What’s the silver lining? What are the good things?

For example, when the pandemic hit and schools closed, it became a huge challenge for students and teachers to deal with. We’re no longer interacting face to face, and while technology is helpful, it’s not the same. Now, we could choose to be upset about this and only focus on the negative, but it’s the perfect situation to find the silver lining. Students might say, “I get to spend more time with my family,” “I get to play with my dog during the day,” and “I get to sleep in and wear my pajamas to class.” As a teacher, maybe your silver lining is more along the lines of, “I get to be creative with the lessons I present,” “I don’t have a commute anymore,” and “I have more time with my family too.

One Quick Implementation Strategy: Identify Strengths

When we identify our strengths in combating stress, we really focus on the positive. This may bring in the growth mindset reframing method, which can then lead into finding the silver lining. For example, you’re feeling overwhelmed with work or projects, you could focus on a strength, “I’m very organized,” then the silver lining, “I can channel this overwhelm into creating a system that helps me get everything done.”

By Spramani Elaun & Kristen Richter

© 2020 All Rights Reserved

Have you ever wondered how some people always manage to maintain a positive mindset or achieve success in life, even when they’re going through stressful situations? A lot of times it has to do with that person’s ability to reframe stress. It’s an incredible skill to master, and if we can teach our students positive ways to reframe their stress, we’ll be helping them take a huge step to developing better emotional literacy. 

What is ‘reframing’?

Reframing is a type of mindset shift. When you reframe a stressful situation, you change your experience or perspective of what the stressor actually is and how the stressful situation affects you. You can also use the technique to reframe the way you see yourself, or a certain event, person, or relationship, in order to see those things in a more positive light.

Teaching Students About Positive Reframing

The best way to teach students how to reframe a stressful or negative situation is through modeling. As teachers and/or parents, we should be examples of how our kids should grow, learn, and change. So if you catch yourself saying something like, “I’m so stressed,” correct it by adding, “AND I know that I can get through this,” or “AND I have helpful strategies that I’m going to try.”

The biggest struggle children often have is in dealing with negative self chatter. When their minds are racing with negative thoughts, it’s very difficult for them to try and reframe a stressful situation into something positive.

As educators, we are always focused on helping our students identify their strengths. For example, when students hit elementary age, they get frustrated when something they’re working on doesn’t go right, and they think, “I’m not good at anything,” or, “I can’t do it.” This is an opportunity to remind them of their strengths. You can encourage them to reframe the situation by saying something like, “You have an amazing sense of humor and that helps you look at things differently; how can you bring humor to this project and do it a different way?”

Positive Reframing & the Growth Mindset

The growth mindset, which was coined by Carol Dweck, is a specific reframing technique that involves seeing challenges as opportunities to grow. When your students are stressed, ask them: How can this stressful situation help improve your abilities or help you push yourself? 

Using the growth mindset helps replace the negative self-talk with positive self-talk. Something as simple as adding the word “yet” to a statement is also a part of the grown mindset habit. “I can’t do this yet,” implies that there’s room for learning and motivates students to push themselves to grow.

[If you want a deeper dive into the grown mindset theory, check out Dweck’s book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success!]

One Quick Implementation Strategy: Replace Negative Self-Talk with Positive Self-Talk

Fairly often, when students are bombarded with negative self-talk, it’s challenging to see things—especially stressful things—positively. It’s better to be proactive, rather than reactive. Have students create an art project that focuses on their strengths. This is something they can refer to the next time their negative self-talk gets too loud. Seeing a list of their strengths (especially as a beautiful work of art) can help them focus on positive thoughts as they practice a reframing mindset.

By Spramani Elaun & Kristen Richter

© 2020 All Rights Reserved